Introducing Jess

Jess

written by Sarah Colgate

Self Awareness

December 5, 2020

At the end of the lunch break my world had shifted, my thinking had shifted and  it was all because of one person, Jess. Instead of me telling you her story I will let Jess do that herself. 

There is one main point to me telling you about Jess and about our connection. We meet a lot of people in our lives. It is possible with just one interaction to change the course of someone’s life. 

Don’t be afraid to share your story. Your pain and suffering could be someone else’s. You may have gotten over a hurdle that is preventing someone else from moving on. Everything that has happened in your life can help someone else. It can save someone else.  

Jess

Hi everyone my name is Jess I am a 33 year old single woman living on the beautiful Gold Coast in Queensland. I have never thought about writing my story but after my wonderful friend Sarah asked me to I thought wow this is something I could do I have lived a life and have a lot to share.

I grew up in Brisbane to an Italian mother & father. I am the oldest of 3 children. I have a younger brother and sister. We had some really great times as a family but also some really tuff times. My earliest memory was when I was nearly four years old and my mum was pregnant with my younger sister and my mum and my dad had an argument that was pretty loud and my dad started for the front door to leave when mum followed him (we had a glass panel on the left side of the door) and ran to go through the door but accidently kicked her foot through the glass I remember this vividly. This was the start of my memories of my mum and dad’s relationship and the challenges they faced as a couple. When I was almost 18 they officially separated. Despite their relationship not working out we had a very fortunate childhood with lots of love, family gatherings and family holidays. 

 I feel like one of my memories when I was around 12 years old really triggered the start of my weight issues and insecurities with men. A boy in my grade called me “fat fucken Falco ” and I have never forgotten that moment it really hurt me.

I was always an emotional teenager but the real problems started when I was 16 years old. My mum had found an ad in the local paper for a spiritual counsellor in the next suburb and she went to her and said to me I think this lady can help you. I had just started seeing Anne and then I was raped by someone I knew. It was a difficult ride of emotions which set up the emotional changes I began to experience. I can truly say if I didn’t have the loving support of my family and my counsellor Anne I wouldn’t be who I am today.

When I was 18 I took on my first full time job at the casino in Brisbane. I was so proud of myself but little did I know that I would meet some very special women who have helped shaped me and supported me through everything I have been through. I am so blessed to have people on the same energy frequency to grow and to change with, even after all these years. 

When I was about 25 I realised that I was still so raw with emotions about what had happened to me and  I remember Anne saying to me I think you need to try out some antidepressants as I am not sure I can help you at the moment. I remember being scared but I went to a wonderful doctor and talked it all through. I stayed on them for one year and it helped clear my emotions so I could deal with the trauma of what had actually happened to me. It really helped me so much as a short term fix anti depressants can do great things for healing.

The next big event that occurred in my life was when I was about 28 years old and I had a big night on the vodkas with some friends and I had a one night stand. This ended up with me getting pregnant. I knew this was something I didn’t want at that time in my life. It was a really raw and emotional decision I had to make and experience. I decided to have a termination of my pregnancy, I know a lot of people might not agree with this but it was what was right for me. I am thankful for the support I had around me at the time. I believe that as women we are so lucky we have a right and a choice to decide what is right for our bodies at any given time.

Jess
Jess

Turning 30 was the next milestone in my life. I had a bit of a mental breakdown about being single and not having any children and not feeling like I had accomplished much at all. I felt like a failure at life while all my friends and family were moving on in life. I still felt stuck and unsure what my purpose was. As women we have so much pressure on us to be a mother, a wife and career women all before we are 30 otherwise no one will want us. It was a lot for me to deal with especially attending weddings and baby showers. It would really upset me. I feel like I have finally accepted that I am my best friend and that maybe the traditional life isn’t for me I love my freedom, my alone time, time to travel and discover the world and that’s ok because I own my story and I am proud to be who I am especially seeing all that I have been through in such a short amount of time in this world.

By sharing my story I hope to inspire other women to tell their truth and own their past as it’s what has helped make them stronger but it does not define their future.

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